Money and Emotions: Finding peace of mind

When it comes to money, people get crazy.

I say this due to the fact that we live in a society that covets money above all else. Don’t believe me?

Wars are started over money

People are killed over money

Businesses lay off hundreds of people - real human beings - in order to increase shareholder value.

Divorce is over money - This is the #2 reason for divorce after infidelity. 

I could go on, but you get the point. We live in a capitalist system that is unbending when it comes to the rules of exchange. You must offer value in return for value. Nobody gets a free ride. Our very survival depends on money. We need money to eat, for shelter and for comfort. Without it, we are left to the charitable graces others. So our instincts are activated when we don’t have enough money. It represents our life. We intuitively feel that our lives are threatened by lack of money. 

It is a measure of “how we are doing” more than anything. If we have money we are doing OK. We associate money with safety. We associate money with happiness (although this has been disproven).

So no wonder that, when it comes to discussions about money, it stirs up uncomfortable emotions for many people. We often tend to keep our heads buried in the sand and pretend that it's all good, or mostly try to forget about the precariousness of our financial situation by ignoring it. If we don’t worry about it all the time then its good right?

I understand this tendency. But it is not healthy.

Sleepwalking through life

If we are gainfully employed we tend to spend all that we earn plus a little bit more. We pretend that we are wealthier than we actually are in order to convince ourselves that we are doing OK. We want to create that bubble of safely that we believe money brings us, without it actually being there. We tend to hope that everything will work out. We used to believe that as long as we don’t go bankrupt, our pension or the government will take care of us.

I know many people who “Hate talking about money” or when they do, get visibly upset. They suddenly feel helpless or worried. So they avoid talking about it and continue to live as if it will just be OK if they ignore it.  

Wake Up Call

We need to stop kidding ourselves and look at reality. The enemy you know is better than the enemy you don’t know. Of course it is difficult to walk away from a frank discussion about our finances without feeling pretty helpless unless we have a plan. A plan makes money discussions a positive experience. A plan is a way to ACTUALLY feel safe and optimistic, without fooling ourselves by “keeping up with the joneses”. 

Having a plan always starts with an honest assessment of your situation. How much is coming in every month, how much is going out. I know, I know, budgeting SUCKS. I get it. But you have to be impartial and objective about this - You are creating an imaginary world that says

 “My stuff is my life” or 

“My life is about the things I spend money on” 

“I’ll die without my half-caff half soy extra hot caramel macchiato every morning”.

I am not telling you what you should spend your money on, I am merely asking you to pay attention to your actual spending decisions. Track your spending for a month down to the penny and categorise  your expenses. You are never going to get ahead and follow a plan if you don’t know where your money is going.

Need vs. Want (Or Perception vs. Reality) 

Once you have a clear picture you are now in a position to make some choices. What do I really need vs. what am I imagining that I need? If you are saying that you NEED to live in a place that takes 70% of your paycheck for rent, I wonder if you have really thought this through.  Find a cheaper place to live. Realize it is only temporary until you have the plan in motion. You can use your creativity to come up with better solutions if you really let go of your imaginary “needs”. Your life is not your situation, it is your family and friends and your shared experiences. Where you live or what you drive are not important. 

The point is, I believe nothing makes you feel safer and more self reliant than knowing you are in control of your life. Being in control of your money is synonymous with that. Knowing that you are spending less than you earn every month feels TERRIFIC. It restores that feeling of safety and security. It makes you feel in control and powerful. It allows you the freedom to implement a plan to get ahead. Reducing your money issues to simple MATH takes the emotion away from it. We get so attached to our ‘things” that we start to think we are losing a piece of ourselves when we reduce the overhead in our lives.

Part of the the problem is people tend to lean towards short-term thinking instead of long-term thinking. They want everything RIGHT NOW. So many things are instant these days it fools us into believing that everything should be instant. We get food instantly, we get entertainment instantly, we get information instantly. These things are quick, dopamine releasing things that are really of very little value. They offer a quick reprieve from our troubles, but offer no lasting solutions. 

Things that truly change our lives and provide a lasting emotional foundation take a long time to create. They require planning, forethought, and repeated efforts over time to attain. They are not quick and easy, but are worthwhile. So if you need to sacrifice a few “emotionally comforting” things in your life to make your financial math work, then do it. This is part of building true long term happiness.

Money management is about creating a system that you can rely upon to take care of you and your loved ones. As much as we would like to live in a world where money isn’t important, we are not there yet. So make it important. By removing all of our emotional attachments to money, it will actually free us to make better decisions about how and where we spend and earn. 

Once you design your life in a way that ensures you spend less than you earn on a consistent basis, then you are ready. You are ready for the plan. 

My books offers you a plan. All you need is to be able to spend less than you earn and you will be able to accelerate you financial future faster than you ever imagined. It doesn’t matter where you are starting from, all that matters is where you are going. You may need to sacrifice a few things now in order to get the MATH of your life straightened out, but it is only temporary. Nothing stays static on this earth. You are either growing or dying. There is no staying the same. 

There is hope. There is security. There is a sustainable happiness that comes from getting your finances in order. Stop pretending you are well off and actually become so. You can grow, and so can your money.

This is true happiness. 

The Millennial Money Crisis

You never know what you don’t know, you know?

I had the chance to speak to a large group of young people (mostly in their 20s) last weekend about my books, my investing ideas and money in general.

I was impressed by their intelligence and curiosity about what I was talking about. They were engaged and motivated to learn more and try some the ideas. However, a theme kept re-appearing during the conversations. I believe this is the key problem that authors like myself and others are trying to address.

They lacked basic financial education

Their perceptions and assumptions about money, financial management, and investing were very incomplete, outdated, and/or just completely wrong. It concerned me that no one had ever taught them how money works. They assumed this was the realm of “experts” . People who want to learn about money need to get fancy degrees or certifications, or aspire to be bankers or accountants. They only knew that they should “get an education” and then “get a good job”. At best, they considered “investing” as stock market “day trading” or some other exotic pursuit.

They are very Interested

The more I engaged with them, the more it became clear that they actually would LOVE to know more about financial planning, investing and money management. They just didn’t realize that they didn’t know. They didn’t even know there were other ways to approach wealth creation and life planning. They were never taught about how money works, or how the game of money is played.

The Game is Rigged

As I rant about often, they were born into a world that is entirely built upon a capitalist system that has specific rules and outcomes. They are basically forced to participate in a world that uses value for value based transactions for every single thing that exists. Yet, they are never given the tools or information to play the game properly. This is a travesty!

Financial Education should be taught in school

If we REALLY wanted to give our kids the best chance to succeed in the world, we would ensure that they are given a proper financial education before they embark on their life’s journey as adults. The problem is, even their parents don’t know what they are talking about, for the most part. Financial education is available these days in abundance via books, seminars, courses, and even YouTube videos but the problem is not availability, it is lack of “Need to know”.

Leave it to the “Experts”

Most people, when they finally figure out they need to start taking care of their futures, rely on “experts” to manage their money for them. They turn over control to insurance companies or banks to invest their hard earned money for them in the form of mutual finds and RRSPs. Although these are far better investments than doing nothing, I believe we owe it to our young people to give them alternatives to traditional investing. They need to know what options are available and THEN make the appropriate decisions for their individual life. Everyone has to make the investment choices that make sense in the context of their own circumstances and I believe that there are far too few choices available in the mainstream.

Be the Master of your OWN Financial Destiny

By educating yourself, and proactively seeking out ideas, methods and systems about investing, money and finance, you are enabling yourself to make better choices with your money. You are learning about the value of your time. You are evaluating investment opportunities with a clearer mind, and a more critical eye. You are putting your own financial life in the proper context and playing the game of money with a few more cards up your sleeve.

Change the World

Until such time as we can convince the education system to include financial literacy as part of tier curriculum and/or find a better system than unbridled capitalism, our best strategy for thriving in the current world is to learn as much as we can about how it all works. Then pass it on..

The first step is to realize that we don’t know.

The second step is to seek out as much information about money and finance as we can.

The third is to apply what you have learned.

The fourth is to enjoy the ride! <— this is how we win the game, after all!

Begin your journey today - A $10 investment that will change your life